"Bite the Bullet" - that's the advice I heard the most through the phone minutes ago. Almost brought the tough guy Shaun to tears.
At the meantime, hearing a very good friend of mine sharing her down moments. And the best thing is, I have my books scattered all over the desk preparing to study for tomorrow's test but guess all happened out of expectations and I have to put my mind 'on hold' for a sec to digest all these before I keep going.
Social life has been pretty hectic and complicated for the 21st century. People start to mismanage their social lives, getting into troubles with communications, being stressed, upset, and all negative emotions that come along.
As a very good listener all along, of course I paid attention to every words that were told and give loads of encouragements and motivations to help my good buddy get out of the pit.
As a good counselor myself, with all positive energy flowing within me all the time nowadays. I have my down moments too. I have a dark spot like a 'cancer tumor' that can turn malignant any moment if it is being activated anytime, anywhere.
Guess I hid it pretty well. Or you can say, I managed it pretty well. I learned a lot.
I think I grew in certain ways. I am attracting all positive energies towards me and avoiding the bad ones. But sometimes, while sharing it with someone else, it triggers the past a little, but I guess I still handle it pretty well so far.
At the very end of the dark corner in my heart, there is this 'fear'.. You see all good of me outside, but no one knows what's deep within. I bet everyone has it too. Life is tough for me actually, but I learned and decided to face everyday with good faith. Count every blessings I was given, appreciate any opportunities I stumble upon.
Instead of amplifying 'How dull/pathetic life I am living', I tend to think it as 'Everyday is another possibilities for awesome stuffs going on, and morning is great start for a wonderful day!!'
It's just an example on how I managed to avoid depressing mindset and put in some good energy to start the day. Focusing on current day instead of generalizing how terrible your life is based on the past. Look forward for future, life is full of variable possibilities. Keep your head high and face it with confidence and hope, the outcomes are amazing. My life became better, happier, and I am looking forward for every single day!!
I have to admit though I do feel lonely here, but I take it as an opportunity for self-enhancement. I start to realize how much flaws I have and I guess this is time to fix things up since no one actually comes into my way, all I need is to dream, believe and achieve. After all, the only person you need to be BETTER is the person you were YESTERDAY. And I am constantly trying my best to improve myself for the better in all aspects.
Those were my high days. Today, for example, is pretty low for me. Especially after the phone call I just picked up. I am touched nonetheless. I have so many loving people around me that cared and would sacrifice so much for me.. They actually knew the hidden pain in me and offered me again to make a turn-around. Of course, if I am who I were a year ago, I already took that offer without any further hesitations!!
But the current me, hesitated. I start to figure more on others' standpoints, not entirely myself. Though being told so many times that it wasn't a problem but I do feel the pressure inside of me.
Let's say even if I decided to make a turn-around, I can never forgive myself for becoming a weakling. Perhaps, you can call that my ego. IMO, this ego isn't all that bad. All I have to do is 'bite the bullet' and sail through this following years. I believe I will turn out a survivor in the end. Focus on the present, that's what I kept reminding myself.
Life is a bliss, it is beautiful!! stress, burdens, sadness, anger, upsets should be put aside. Live like we only live once, grab all good things and treasure them like you never did. Live as though 2012 really is end of the world. Choose, live your last year full of disappointment, sadness OR live your last year with a broad smile, contentment and without a single regret?? Of course you will chose the latter if you are human.
Open up your mind to limitless, never put yourself in a box, live out and beyond limitations. We have no limits, believe it. Soon enough, there will be significant change in your life before you know it.
I will Bite that Bullet even though this decision is tough. Believe, I will make it through and you will see me smiling through this entire journey. I will make the full use of everything I get along the way.
-Ys-
