Clear My Mind

I think I am suffering from mental fatigue. In a way that I can't seem to be clear of my goals, my paths, my focus. I am drifting apart recently, I am "out-of-form".. sadly


To make things more 'challenging', I have to face the fact that I have to deal with this Alone again!
Basically, no one is there for me most of the time and I am pretty much used to it already. Standing strong still but lose focus. So, I dug out some time to crap some of my crappy mind's thought into this crappy blog so that my mind is no more so crappy and then I can get back on focus!! :p



Progression of my studies delayed despite having quite adequate amount of time to recall all materials. Yet, the study load and a lot of external factors got into me. I literally wasted 2 days non-progression, only upsetting myself, getting down and depressed.




I very much hope this song could save my life, but at least it did cheered me up a little.
You know what I learn the most out of this tough life in Russia? -Independent (like never before)

I was like in training to really live my own life and shape myself up on my own. No family, no lover or friends or teachers who are into the picture of my art. I am quite impressed with what I did to myself so far..(not now definitely LOL) I changed my habits, and gain more control to myself. But the big picture of being who I am in my Ideal Me is still far from reach, but I'll get there some day, promised.


Ok, I know am being a narcissist to praise myself.. But it's all about self-reflecting moments right here right now. There are still a lot of place of improvements for me, I have still a hill of evil habits yet to be overcome yet! And still struggling to.. On the funny side, I think I am just too free to challenge myself nowadays xD oops, but not now, Biochemistry surely occupy most of my time now, in which I hate that I have to get my butt on the chair for hours!! ohh...maybe that explains why I am being so messed up..I am LOCKED to my damn chair!!!!! Maybe I should try standing while studying tomorrow...haha




Speaking of exams, some course-mates who are rushing back home (Malaysia) are done with exams already!! I mean DONE!!! They cramped all exams forward and now they are free..How I wish I were them, no need to stress out long long time just for one exam like now. Better done early, free myself early. I envy them much though =) How I wish I were them.. But seems like I have to stick around in Nizhny for awhile longer and await the bigger picture ahead.


I sure will miss all dear ones at home though. See you all next year kays :))

-Ys-