Renew-ed

A new semester has begun. Looks like I am about to officially enter 3rd year Medical Student's Life.

Also, soon I will turn 20. I am blessed to be able to live up to these 2 decades and pray for more awesomeness in future. I really enjoyed my journey so far, my one and only life. I really had the time of my life in these 20 years, thanks to family, friends and everyone who walked into my life and left their footprints.

10 years later, what will I become? How many 10 years do we have?

Stepping out of teenager's life soon. Time for a change, renewed Yu Shaun.

-Ys-

Remember When

Speaking of self-reflecting, I think I really should divert my focus away from studies today and quit whining on Biochemistry all-day-long. WTH, I think I just did it again!! ok, just stop.


Today, I came upon this very video today and found it to be extremely enthralling.




Perfect video for self-reflecting moments =) Just fell in love with the country-genre song I just discovered - Remember When by Alan Jackson.

This video moved me, and I hope it moved you too. A very fascinating combination of song and video at the same time. I kinda forget about the movie 'Up' I watched 2 years ago until I saw this video. It just moved me again..




Firstly, it touches love. This is like the ideal marriage life I would ask for. Wow, speaking of mediocrity. Yeah, I am indeed quite simple in asking for an ideal wife, accepting who I am, love me and willing to spend the rest of her life with me :)


Here's one fact about Shaun: he always speak about LengLuis but actually, he just TALKS BIG LOL one very berry bad habit :p I ain't really interested into going All-out like some paparazzi like I think I always describe myself as one, just ain't me. I did crazy things years ago but I find myself very amusing back then. Well, I just not really into any random chics I see, just like that. I am a guy after all, they just caught my attention, but that's it!! LOL


Of course, I'll be as loving as Carl~ (awww...what a liar!!) I'm actually pretty serious in what I said!! Nothing beats a peaceful, loving marriage with so much toleration and forgiveness. By the way, sharing the same common dream is a big plus point too, at least we can help each other to achieve it and nothing can beat the fact that we can share our joy together...and just grow old together, that's just life :)


Ok, let's put myself into Carl's shoes when knowing my wife can't give birth to a child..like Ellie. What will my reaction be?? For most, we would've divorced her and find another wife!! But he didn't, he stayed by her side till old age. That is what true love is all about..that is what I am truly searching. And the reason why I really don't fool myself into getting involve into any relationship that I think wouldn't last long.. That is why this big boy here still single!! For all my past histories, I really mean it to last. It is always not me to put a full-stop to every of it!! Hello~~cry of a victim here

So, babies or no babies..I really don't give a damn about all these things actually as long as she really matters to me. I would prefer to think this way - be happy with what we are given and just live the fullest out of it.


Aiming high, achieving dreams, striving for accomplishments..But it all boils down to this, we grow old one day, all of us. All great people end up in a way the same way, no matter how powerful they were, how smart they were, how rich they once were, they just can't escape death.
Being high-spirited, drafting out great goals, planning to take on your big dreams when you are young.. Will that very dream of yours fade and lost as time passes on? I am still consider myself young, I have wild dreams, unachievable ones waiting to be made possible. 40 years later, will I still hold onto it? I cannot guarantee.

In the vid, Carl and Ellie share BIG dreams as adventurers, but they were both tied up to their everyday-lives after they reached adulthood and the dream they both shared while they were young faded and only became mere painting on the wall!!



They lose control on their own lives, to live like most of the people out there who are considered "normal way to live". Work work work, pay bills, pay loans, taxes, groceries, and all other materialistic things On daily basis, there is no doubt most of the time are spent on work, earning big paychecks, purchasing things, live on the rest of the days like the others. And till the time they retire, they realized they have lose that much time..

We only live once, we should all be clear on what we hunger most. Burn the spirit to achieve it one day, don't let it put off. When you have to challenge the norm (like Carl pumping thousands of balloons to make his house a huge floating ship LOL!!), just go for it. Don't wait. We only live this very one life.


Close your eyes, reflect. What meant the most once to you. When you were young then, high-spirited. What did you left behind? What dreams you put off? Be truthful and may the light guides you.




I shall do some yoga and clear up more rubbish in my head tomorrow..1am now. Enough crapping :) goodnight.

A life lived that matters
Is not of circumstance
But of Choice

-Ys-

Clear My Mind

I think I am suffering from mental fatigue. In a way that I can't seem to be clear of my goals, my paths, my focus. I am drifting apart recently, I am "out-of-form".. sadly


To make things more 'challenging', I have to face the fact that I have to deal with this Alone again!
Basically, no one is there for me most of the time and I am pretty much used to it already. Standing strong still but lose focus. So, I dug out some time to crap some of my crappy mind's thought into this crappy blog so that my mind is no more so crappy and then I can get back on focus!! :p



Progression of my studies delayed despite having quite adequate amount of time to recall all materials. Yet, the study load and a lot of external factors got into me. I literally wasted 2 days non-progression, only upsetting myself, getting down and depressed.




I very much hope this song could save my life, but at least it did cheered me up a little.
You know what I learn the most out of this tough life in Russia? -Independent (like never before)

I was like in training to really live my own life and shape myself up on my own. No family, no lover or friends or teachers who are into the picture of my art. I am quite impressed with what I did to myself so far..(not now definitely LOL) I changed my habits, and gain more control to myself. But the big picture of being who I am in my Ideal Me is still far from reach, but I'll get there some day, promised.


Ok, I know am being a narcissist to praise myself.. But it's all about self-reflecting moments right here right now. There are still a lot of place of improvements for me, I have still a hill of evil habits yet to be overcome yet! And still struggling to.. On the funny side, I think I am just too free to challenge myself nowadays xD oops, but not now, Biochemistry surely occupy most of my time now, in which I hate that I have to get my butt on the chair for hours!! ohh...maybe that explains why I am being so messed up..I am LOCKED to my damn chair!!!!! Maybe I should try standing while studying tomorrow...haha




Speaking of exams, some course-mates who are rushing back home (Malaysia) are done with exams already!! I mean DONE!!! They cramped all exams forward and now they are free..How I wish I were them, no need to stress out long long time just for one exam like now. Better done early, free myself early. I envy them much though =) How I wish I were them.. But seems like I have to stick around in Nizhny for awhile longer and await the bigger picture ahead.


I sure will miss all dear ones at home though. See you all next year kays :))

-Ys-

Finals

Truthfully speaking, Biochemistry is killing me softly and gruesomely. A week more time to prepare for the last game, but the pressure is hitting on me already.

1) I pretty much hate memorizing chemical reactions / equations
2) The Kreb's cylcle, Pentose Cycle, and all what-ever-cycles are making my head go dizzzzzzzy
3) The duration of preparing this exam is a little too long till I feel like that day is so unreachable, imagine yourself suffering everyday just for that day to come, it's killing me -.-



7 days more, Free I will be.
7 days more, I can divert my focus on something else more enjoyable, at least.
7 days more, I will be officially 3rd year medical student.

Wish me all the best ;)

-Ys-

Going All-Out

Guns not fully-loaded. Facing tremendous stress right now, part of my subconscious mind tempt me to postpone this war..a day or a week later.


But I don't care, I AM GOING ALL OUT this time!!! I won't let fear take over me (though I really have not enough time to cover all topic...) Argghhh WHO CARES?!! I'll go Kamikaze since my Bazooka isn't loaded at this time!!!



I am currently in epilepsy state right now cause no matter what, I am gonna try my luck tomorrow!! There is NO DELAY, NO FEAR, ONLY AIM FOR VICTORY AND GLORY!!




I know I did my best and all I care is to go all out tomorrow!!! Procrastinate is not taking over me this time, although it sounds so tempting.. ughh...

Why the hell did I post this up?? Reason: as an assurance that I WILL NOT POSTPONE MY EXAM!! Kamikaze tmr.. You readers are my witnesses




Physiology, you are such a bad-ass..And Imma kick your butt!!!!

Life as medical student really can drive one crazy..LOL

-Ys-

Friday!

Today marks the beginning of WEEKENDS = Holidays = Breaks = Rest..

But for me = Maximum Study Mode = Suffer x_____x


Alright, exams are approaching. Tuesday is Physiology!!! Which marks the ultimate beginning of hell. Eh no, hell has begun with piles of materials I have to memorize, and time as usual, never seem to be enough at all.



Haven't got much idea what to talk about right now. Just finding way to chill out a little after 'singing in the rain' just now, got myself all wet and I am pretty much amazed by how heavy today's downpour is..not a very common weather thingy in Russia IMO. Been out the whole day anyways, unforeseen circumstance that screwed up my study plan :p

But, whine not. For this is just a message from the unseen force to put pressure on me to strive further LOLLL how optimistic I am~~~ cowabangaaaa


Time for a cryotherapy in the bathroom after getting myself soaking wet..(There is no hot water supply for 2 weeks already...ice cold water is the treatment I am having..) Just for extra knowledge, I came upon this interesting article about cryotherapy

http://blog.find-healthy-food.com/sperm/cold-shower-stimulates-testicles-so-that-they-produce-more-sperm.html

So whoever wants to be a dad, go for cold shower!!!
I am 'forced' to take cold-shower, so don't think otherwise :)




Wish me luck in the upcoming exams alright, whoever that is reading this although I know I actually kept this blog pretty private so far though it is actually 'public'.. Private as in, really few of you was actually 'told' by me personally or just happened to hop in!! Still, love you guys <3

Not aiming to come up to a popular, super many hits blog like those professional bloggers. Just a leisure stuff for me, rather than wasting too much time on that pathetic No.1 procrastinating virus website called 'FACEBOOK'



I pray for wisdom, I pray for strength to do my best in these few days that I am given presently. And above all, luck is crucial in exams here, so really, may lady luck shine upon me ;)

-Ys-

Facing The Past

Have you ever experience a person's face overshadowing your emotions?


For the entire day your emotions are just sky high and the moment you just happen to visualize a person's face that brought impact to you, your emotion just stumble like crazy.


It just happened to me a sec ago. Letting go of past is easier said than done sometimes. =) a smiley for mood enhancement hehe~

Oh, today is my dear JunKiat's and BoboChan's birthday!! The duo has been part of my teenager life and I wish them all the best for their future undertakings!! Guys..you are so darn lucky to be wished here ;p






nights.

-Ys-

Biggie Gift :)

I am jumping joy now!! can't help it but to express it out.


I've received one biggie gift from my beloved and prettiest Russian teacher, Maria Vadinovna!!! I got aftomat!!! =))) means I am being exempted from sitting Russian examination which will be on the 4th June, I automatically got 'Excellent' mark man!! Lucky lucky meeeeeee...


Initially, I only cling onto hope cause I knew I have did more than 5 mistakes for the latest test which makes me ineligible to receive this 'special treatment'. But she actually said she give me this as a present TODAY!!! soooooooooooooooo, I can focus onto other examinations now without stressing on Russian!!! 1 down, 3 more to go!! Am lucky cause I am the only one given this present in my group :))


My holding onto this slim hope actually bore fruition!! I feel so blessed~~~

Does my teacher just loves me or wad?? ;p
Love them more!! yipeee

-Ys-