What Next?

This is ONE BIG QUESTION that has been toying with my mind lately..

SHOULD I MAKE THIS BIG U-TURN??????

SOMEBODY,SOMETHING...GUIDE ME!!!

why are things always so demotivating..

-Ys-

100th Post

Greetings!!

Got so bored with books so I checked out how's this blog doing..to my surprise, I posted 99 posts already and this will be the 100th one!! =)

HAPPY 100th POST PAPA BLOG
you sure are getting old ;p

out of randomness
-Ys-

I'm Not Lying

Believe it or not,

I totally FORGET THE EXISTENCE OF THIS BLOG for MONTHSSS

after neglecting it more and more!!!

I wonder, are there any blogger out there has such amnesia as I do.
LMOAO (laughing ma' own ass off)

So, the unreplied chatbox and disappointed readers, which I doubt I have any now, gazillion apologizes.


Been crazily busy till the beginning of July. One final paper before I am free to partayy =)


Just can't wait for that day to come. Man, it's just around a week time!! How fast time has passed.




P/s:
Dear Malaysians, YU SHAUN IS INVADING MALAYSIA ON 3rd JULY 2010.
So, Be Ready !! :p

-Ys-

Sharing Old Times

Just had a long 5 hours talk
with
a fantastic friend of mine
who is now thousand miles away from where I am now


It has been awhile since I last spoken so much
to someone in Malaysia
Squeezing out all hottest gossips and scandals which I missed out
Refreshing those awesome and crazy time we all used to have
Even rewinding back the clock to the very 1st day we knew each other
From strangers to someone who can spend a whole night talking
I am just glad that we still keep in touch


It is all just Fantastic, I can say

How funny is it to reminisce those wonderful memories
Those jokes, those laughter,
I sure miss them dearly right now



After sharing so much thoughts and feelings
I even feel lighter now



It sure is fantastic to recall those great moments

Thanks ^^

-Ys-

Choosing realities

Sharing some little thoughts with you.

Recently, some friends of mine have been asking me questions and somehow
these questions just crossed my mind and I feel like answering them here.

Why are you trying so hard??
These stuffs are IMPOSSIBLE

It sounds like one long question asked by one commoner with a chain of negativeness.
Well, can I share my answer with you?

There is no reason not to try hard when you are totally determined to accomplish one task
which has been handed over to you, no?
There is no point putting 60% effort and leave the other 40% to god right?
I don't believe solely on fate, I don't believe that we are controlled by something else.

Even if there really is fate,
I believe that if one has high perseverance and put in maximum effort,
they can even change FATE.
If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind.

One motto of mine in life, as well as Adidas' "Impossible is NOTHING".
I wouldn't take up the challenge if it is Impossible.
When I start doing one thing, I will do all I can to succeed.
Though many times my motivation might go downhill but I believe there will always be something else which can get me back on track.

Why do you want to risk it ???
There is not much time left.

Taking risk is what I do.
There will be no gain, no progress if we don't dare to take risk.
What makes the great people different from the rest is because they dare to risk,
no matter how risky it is.
like I mentioned in a million posts earlier, life is a poker game.
As long as I believe that I can do it so confidently, I can already win risk itself.

It sure bothers me how annoying those people were when they keep giving me negative response when I decided to take risk by doing something crazy, which I believe I can do it (and which it DID). How disappointed I am to see them not supporting me, but instead dragging me down.. I really have overestimated them. Thinking they can actually do better.

From the very beginning, I will not promise on things that I cannot fulfill. When I promise you, I will keep it to the very end till I can fulfill it. That, is Shaun's style. And that is also why I will actually sweat it out when someone wanted me to promise them somethings. I hate keeping too many promises, such burden.

Why are you so positive in everything you do???

I actually think this way, same as this guy ;)

the reason I practice positivity is because there is no reason not to.

this life is literally exactly what you make it.

you can look up, or you can look down.

i choose to always looks up.

i smile instead of frown.

if you put off positive energy;

then it will come back.

You just aren't being REALISTIC, you know??
Please be realistic



I am always being realistic to myself, always.
I am just choosing a different reality =)

Picture of the Day to end this :)

-Ys-
Time has been ticking mercilessly fast,
in just another 10 more weeks everything
will soon come to an end.

Hitler's Day

20th April - Today is Adolf Hitler's Birthday.

Supposedly this day will be one dangerous day for us students to stroll along the street when we are not 'whites'.. The day when skin-heads and mafias will randomly prey on their foreigner 'victims' to give them a good kick in the ass. The day when the condition might get so out of control till universities will give their foreign students holidays to stay away from harm.



Fortunately, or unfortunately, there will be no break for us in NNSMA since they claimed that this place is 'very safe' from those Hitler's 'loyal fans'.




On details about Adolf Hitler, you can go ahead and google it cause this guy is incredibly popular - just in case you got no idea who is it, the German leader who took away millions of lives in World War 2.

Happy Birthday, crazy dude :p

-I am posting up a big big portrait of you as a present-
have fun in hell yea

-Ys-

you are getting more and more unapproachable,
so it has come to an end?
what a fate. I accept it.

2AM

Life has been treating me great, considering how much I have gained and experienced for this 18 years plus. Despite of what I lost, I gained others in return. Being happy is all about thinking optimistic. Realizing that we have come to a dead end, there is always another opened door, though hidden from our sight. All we need is the initiative to find it, with a positive mind.


Letting the past be the past, as things will never change. Those were the dead ends which open up new paths to where I am now. I have come this far, with pure perseverance and determination, I will hold on tight so things will never go out of control like how it did so often during the past. Bad endings we did in the past seem to not change no matter how hard we try to rewind the clock, but it is possible to write a new story with a better ending, starting from now.


Moments, joy or tears, I shall learn to appreciate all of them.. to think about it, in the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away, just like someone told me before. I just feel blessed when I flashback all those moments which took my breath away. That is the reason why humans are gifted with emotions.


Appreciation of moments, gratification upon reaching goals, step by step, being grateful to those who lend a helping hand, is what I am trying to learn. Though, as pathetic as it sounds, I lack every of it still although I already knew the theory. The true fact is, it is always easier to be said than done. I seem to be someone who can criticize every single person I know about their mistakes, but how come it is so difficult to realize my own?


At current state of inside desperation to seek the answers for questions, I wondered myself,
Why is it so difficult to accept others' affection? Why is it so difficult to be 'loved'? Why when someone who shows a lot of affection shows up, I tend to push him or her far far away? Beats me, I don't even know why.. is there something that happened long ago which I don't even know made me anti-affection? People who try to be closer to me always ending being hurt. I always feel that I am not ready to open up. Instead, I lived my own world.

Yes, true enough. Like what everyone knew about Yu Shaun, I have many friends from all walks of life, but considering them as true friends as I knew they always are, I still have that solitary feeling within me. What bothers me the most is I feel uneasy when somebody treats me too well. Moreover, I feel even more uneasy when a girl does that. Is it because, I have a feeling of not deserving to be treated in such way? or am I just love being alone? I have a guilt, I feel bad for treating those people who cared too much for me - badly, especially the girls.. I don't know why but I deeply, I'm sorry, I don't deserve those affections yet. Haha..why am I saying all these?? A very random confession indeed...but, yeah.



Those are the principles I am trying to hold on currently, eventhough I know that I failed to fulfill most of it. What I'll do is just improve bits by bits, no matter how long it will take.

Life in Russia has been taxing me a lot recently, tests and hometasks piling up like mountains that can never get any lesser. But, per aspera ad astra - no pain no gain!! All these will just be a stepping stone for me to see a bigger picture later on.

I have been wanting to reply all those pending messages my friends sent, but all I need is time, to think and reply with a positive mood. Even that, had been delayed for months and now I guess I will have a hard time replying all.. Haha, but I'll try my best =) nothing beats the spirit of 'believing'.

-Ys-
Inside me,
angel says: it's time to learn how to accept affection, time to 'love'.
devil says: Being alone is still the best way, I lived my very own world.

Fading

I have an epiphany, that I am losing you all one by one.
Initially, I thought this will never happen. But it seems like I am out of strength to stop it from happening, I hope that it is not gonna happen, but it doesn't change the fact that I really am out of reach from each of you. I can't catch up to every single soul which are so far from me.



I finally understand. It is smothering me to think about the reality. Thus, I chose to keep it in a treasure chest and let you have the key. I will be hiding the box deep within my heart, as though it's like a candle hidden deep within the cave, keeping the glare to the minimum..only when the closer we are, the brighter the candle will be seen.
Until the day you stand right in front of me, you will have the pleasure of opening the treasure chest. Then, everything will feel just like yesterday though much time had passed.

Tonight, at least, allow me to take a glimpse into the chest.

-Ys-