A Piece of My Mind

Mirage
....an illusionized picture formed that perceives
perceptions


Alas, it made me indecisive.

Dreams and illusions..the only ideal way to Utopia

Seeking perfection, integrality
that hardly exist in reality, only in imagination that is totally intangible

Just like something called

"Silhouettes"

..things you can see but you never know what is the kept features..
Hidden from bare naked eyes
with such surreal feeling..like a dream

Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them, thy will lead you to your destiny.




But what if it does exist?

-----------------------------------------

Among pages in my chapters

It mentioned that
I climbed, I struggled, I fought vigilantly all the way to the top
but what all that signifies to me, how long can that alter ego last
Is this what I strive for?
or is this done to make my run worthwhile although it last just a second

--To climb to the top is easy, but to stay on top is difficult--



But what it feels like to be on top?
Proud? Satisfied?
Great?
Yes, as when the wind kisses your cheek while you are at the top of the world..

Think again, will the wind die off someday.

I don't wanna stay on top, I don't wanna be at the top
ALONE
if it was to sacrificing my own self



---------------------------------------------


Until one unfortunate day..



I failed, I fell, I screamed in agony and pain
a sheer pain that aches me every time I fall to the bottom

"Ouch!"

A cry of failure.
But after that, I gather all my courage to stand once again.
This time, I must stand even taller than before
Failures do not back me off from anything, even if I fall a million times
Bear in mind that,
The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.



I must be fearless

"Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose"

-----------------------------------------

I am having this weird feeling that I once had long time ago

That influences every decision I make somehow

I need somebody, to remove it for me =)




I suddenly got a feeling that the

1st October 2008 incident

is bound to be repeated soon, or perhaps NOT


This time as well, I am not sure whether this is a good thing...


Yet, this time it's gonna be different..
I learnt a lesson from the last incident and wouldn't repeat it AGAIN.

It taught me

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option"

-Everyone live for a reason

P/s:
This is not another emo post, just a piece of thought. =)
Got a feeling that I won't be onlining so often soon, so gonna blog out everything I think of.

-Ys-

Congratulations, Selfless Service

This post is specially to commemorate VIRCS for it's victory in the A-Drill competition on 7th April 2009.


The last visit I went for to observe the marching squad is a week before the Sports Day. Frankly speaking, the squad is in a disappointment as they had so much flaws on the day I visited. Hand swings, Synchronization, the basic stomach-in, chest-out, stampings, and even the NCOs commands...all are not in the tip top form to face the competition on Sports Day, which was just about 4 days more. Just by observing, I can already predict the outcome of the competition, base on the performance, they can hardly get into the podium.

Perhaps it's because this is the first time newbies (the form 1's) are also cramped into the squad.
Before leaving em, I just gave some words of encouragement to the members and some suggestions to overcome the flaws. All I have for them is hope, just pray for them.



28th March
VI Sports Day. As expected, VIRCS didn't get into the podium. Not even securing the third place. Thus, the defending champion VIRCS had to give up the champion title to 2nd KL Scouts Group.

Things get even more embarrassed cause Sergeant Amir Malik was also watching over them. Little that we expect that this ex-president of RC has been showing his support for the society for so many years. Imagine with so high expectation from him, RC failed to live up its reputation. I wasn't present on that day itself but I knew everything that happened.

One of the most embarrassing moment for the society.



7th April
A-Drill Competition held at Padang Palapes, UM (the same spot the competition is held last year). As the sayings in RC always goes : If you can't even win Sports Day, don't even dream of winning the A-Drill!!! Thus, I don't put much hope on them. Till Jason informed me that RC won the silver medal. That was a shocking news, they got 2nd??!! and last year we only got 3rd, while I was the commander.

Every alumnis were also surprised with the result. We did not expect them to better us out. Perhaps Sgt. Amir, Chin Hong and the Form 5 gave them last minute words of encouragements that finally made them perform. Or maybe the embarassment they encounter on Sports Day awakened their spirit to win something.


It's been quite a memory thinking about all the medals we won during our time. The unity, the friendship, the lust for victory.

Congratulations, VIRCS marching squad '09, you guys finally proven something to us.

Last year bronze, this year silver, next year...make it gold.

Once upon a time.. in year 2008

Champion for Sports Day

Bronze for A-drill


A very 'yeng' punya commander with 3 stripes
and a Crown xD

Wonderful memory eh?

-Ys-

Malaysia's 6th Prime Minister

3rd of April 2008 marks another major change in politics of Malaysia as a New Prime Minister has been sworn in as the 6th Prime Minister of Malaysia, succeeding Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

He is no other than Dato' Seri Najib Tun Razak.

Malaysia has been facing so many political controversies and critics on the government. It can be due to misuse of power by the elected candidates, currently the hot case of misuse of people's money for own oversea trips expenses, the losing of states during the last general election, bribery....the list of problems is endless.

Now that Malaysia has chaired the new PM, hopefully there really is change to put an end to all these. Well, I didn't thought of blogging about politics but the fact is, Malaysia is in a mess!!

Another unique incident occur in Malaysia History is the order of the PMs in the sequence R.A.H.M.A.N

R- Rahman
A-Abdul Razak
H-Hussein Onn
M- Mahathir
A- Abdullah
N- Najib

So, guess who's next?? A new sequence of R.A.Z.A.K???? LOL

Anyhow, all Malaysians will pray that all problems faced by the people can be solved and politic can be back stable like the past, for the sake humanity, unity and not to be a money-politic. All of us are like the vessels of a voyage and the government is the head of us all. If they fail to lead well, the ship will sink.

Kudos to Dato' Seri Najib for his smooth succession and all the best for the "one Malaysia" campaign.

Victorious??

Seems like I really impressed TNB during the interview..



In my mail box

"Congratulations Tan Yu Shaun! You have been offered with Foundation in Civil Engineering( 12008 years ) programme. You will receive an offer letter soon. You are required to return the acceptance letter not later than 06 May, 2009. Thank you. "




Yup, I won the scholarship worth about 140k (the briefing says so)
for the whole 5 years course for civil engineering


However, it cannot be denied that in every victory, there is a price to pay as well.
so I will make this scholarship a pending one for now
before further steps are taken,
I will be in deep consideration

There are certain things I cannot let go now
Who knows what are they??


Anyway, I consider this as a victory for me and I am really happy to know that I am wanted!!!
I feel appreciated and bliss
thinking of all the trepidation I went through
I emerged victorious
(let me bangga sikit I menang scholarship boleh tak?? xP)


My path is still undecided

just take up this scholarship?
or
wait for JPA and others?
or

Fight for other scholarships in future
with
2 choices:
1. Form 6?? back to VI
2. A-levels??? and where?? Location wise-Methodist college(any comments??)






Somebody, please guide me. xD
any form of help is extremely appreciated

-Ys-

Happenings

It's been quite awhile I deserted this blog. So, here's a little update about my personal life these couple of weeks.


23rd-27th March
Chosen for the doctor exposure program by JPA. The hospital I visited was Hospital Kuala Lumpur, the general hospital. Overall, this program is great and really did gave us much exposure about how life as a doctor would be in the future if any of us are so lucky to be one.

We should consider ourselves lucky to be given the "might be" once in a lifetime experience at a total of 6 medical departments: Outpatient Department, Accident and Emergency Department, O&G Department, Forensic Department, Orthopaedic Department and Surgery Department. No doubt, the most interesting Department is definitely the Forensics. This is the first time in my life looking at 5 dead bodies right in front of me in the mortuary, from a dead foetus, dead Nigerian, dead uncle, old woman to a badly decomposed body.

Alright, the experience is like this, I was standing in front of the group to test my ability to stand the stench and horrifying sight. Right, all is ok till I encounter the decomposed maggoted body, after 2 minutes, my tummy starts to feeling sick LOL then I went back followed by Satbir.

The only 'happy' department I think is the O&G -Obstetrics and Gynaecology Department. This is where babies are born, a place of hope.

Just glad that 7 victorians are there at the same time =) a tiring but worth the experience.


1st April
JPA scholarship interview. Reached the convention centre at Putrajaya around 7.30 and lucky that I was placed into the first group of 5 to enter. Why do I say lucky? coz start early, end early!! Quite amusing to know that my group members, all 5 are into medicine.. I don't know whether it's something good or otherwise, but the whole interview go on smoothly I guess.

The interview kick off with introductions from each of us according to number, and I am lucky number 2 =D I shall skip every details cause I don't really recall what questions asked 10 days ago. Ahahaha.. well, due to each of us chose medicine, all questions revolves around the medic world, about doctors, about situations you are a doctor in a future etc. Eg, questions such as what will you do if you as a doctor is sued in court by a patient's family, blamed for not treating properly?? Hope you cope ur life overseas??

The discussion part also about medicine just like I anticipated : WHY CHOOSE TO BECOME A DOCTOR? BECAUSE IT'S A NOBLE PROFESSION OR BECAUSE of IT'S GLAMOUR??

I was the 2nd to give opinion so I got many points but I symphatise the last person cause most of the points are already taken =/ Well, I did answered most of the questions fluently and talked alot and I hope I wasn't over-dominating.

some questions that surprises me is like question bout which medical journal I read, p/s: I said I read medical journals... Thank god I mentioned The New England Medical Journal which I glanced through a day before. Luckily, never get picked on and he said that's a good choice, cause it's a top 3 medical journal in US...phew..

In conclusion, I am glad I did pretty ok for the interview overall and walked out of the room with sigh of relieved. And it ended at 9.15am!! So early...haha.. precious experience for the day.

2nd April
TNB interview.. Funny, and yet again fun. This time I have to change my mindset from becoming a Doc to becoming a civil engineer IN A SINGLE DAY. I spent just one day memorise the whole company profile-The CEO, the chairman of the Board of Directors, total power capacity supplied, approximate asset value, 6 thermal stations and 3 major hydroelectric schemes, blah blah blah... imagine I memorise all those value in just 1 day and psyco myself to be engineer overnight.. thank god I am good in memorising stuffs, which helps load in sejarah last time xD

Well, my effort paid off, they really questioned all those, and I was like reading the whole profile to the interviewers.. And the Caucasion interviewer, he is so cool and tense, aura of arrogance. One question he asked me really caught me off guard. He asked this, " WHAT IS THE SHARE MARKET PRICE OF TNB???" LOL...do you think I know??!! I apologised and said I don't know about it. Next he ask again,"what is the total installed generation capacity of TNB?" O.O" Luckily I remember it's 112oomegawatts....pheww.. I noticed that in my group, none of em read through their profile, so only I am the one kena shoot like hell. Next is move on to discussion (debate) as usual, in BM xD

This interview is just like any other JOB INTERVIEW, fantastic experience.



5th April
Cheng Beng.


3rd April till to date
Finally ended all the scholarship hassles. Done going to-and-fro to school, banks to settle everything. Now what to do is to wait for any further notice for interviews ke ape. To rest up my head, I continued what I missed doing for weeks, YUMCHA!!!! Outings!! Especially movies..haven't watch any till today xD Buddies, I miss you guys~ Call me out more often ya..dahlah korang yumcha palau me for so long dy =/

How bout....go KLCC continue our long lost tradition?? Good idea eh? hahahax

And yea, I am now all tired up with 'appointments'. Time for a break.. Next stop, Tioman?? Pulau Perhentian?? All up to the possibility I get my permit from my parents.


Couple of pix to share / left out :

countless trips back to school for the past weeks

Dinnering out

Post-celebration for birthday boy- Wai Xiang

Once upon a time in RedBox, sang till no time limit =.=

Result I got for over a month...I know la I failed to score full marks
LIKE SOMEONE xD


Masterpiece of the Day

Inspiration

Shaunnie's current situation: Still messed up, be it mentally or emotionally.


Nothing to do with SPM, I am happy with it. And not that I don't have choices, instead...too many choices till I am all messed up. Weird right, but that is what going on to me.

I really wish that I could turn back the clock and go back to my Form 5 life. The end of secondary life is a hassle. Why say so? When u ended SPM, it's just like a train you have been riding on for 5 years finally reached it's terminal and now it is time to make choices where to head to next.

Thank god I managed to buy a golden ticket for my next trip. Only thing is, I cannot figure out where to go. Still wandering around, hate myself for being so indecisive.

Other than that, I am also in confusion due to some other complications. About feelings, quite sensitive, so I do not want to elaborate it here.

Perhaps some of you out there is facing similar obstacles like I am, making decision. I am running out of time and I am really stressed up.

I believe in fate and if I am fated for it, I will somehow get it. Just in the matter of time.


Here's a video that really touches me. Incredibly inspiring speech. Just watch it and hope it will make you believe that, if he can, why not US??

It All Ends with a Boom!! A New Chapter Unfolds..

How can I not Blog about 12th March 2009!! Let it be a sad day or a happy day to remember, it's an auspicious day for all ex-fifth formers who sat for SPM last year to remember throughout their entire lifetime!!


Like I mentioned before, 'Judgement Day' will decide a big part of our future but not OVERALL for higher education. Why??? You know better, Scholarships!!!


This incident is dated back yesterday-12th March 2009

Results were given out in the great hall of VI at approximately 11.30am. I was so glad to be able to meet all old folks whom I never keep in contact for months!! Everyone is starting to change their appearance- especially the hair xD

Before the results, all alumni were hanging around in the hall and had a great chat about what they were into for these couple of months, mostly mentioning about college life. Although everybody seemed calm and were busy sharing their adventures with another, it's inevitable to neglect the aura of nervousness from everyone in the hall, including myself.

We victorians batch '09 are really proud cause we managed to contribute to the school by improving the school academic achievements in SPM compare to the batch before us. For SPM candidates 2008 (us), there are 11 of us who achieved straight A1's and 24 who achieved straight Aces. A figure for us to rejoiced after years of struggles for this examninations. Though, I know there are some other schools that did better than us. Anyways, kudos to all brothers.

Frankly speaking, not many dramas you can see in VI hall that day. Basically, no one broke down or screamed like a mad fella that day. Though, there were still mood of satisfactions and disappointments in the hall. In the meantime, I also heard about all different dramas going on in other schools from my friends outside. I suppose this is because VI is an all boy schools and the guys here seldom overreact. haha.. After we got the results, we were just congratulating each other and plan of celebrations afterwards.


Speaking of which, many very 'concerned' friends and family members messaged and called me to ask about my results. And no doubt, the question will always be, " How many A's??" and I have heard it for uncountable times xD I believe everyone experiences the same thing that day!!




Moving on to the parts I know you readers really want to know--My results!!! So I will just tell here and stop questioning the ''How many A's'' question, it's irritating LOL


As I said before,
My aim for this SPM is 11A1s, sadly I failed to achieve it..I FAILED


My result : 10A1, 1A2


I had a mixed up emotions that moment..
Actually, I should be happy.

But, the 1A2 is NOT a tough subject that I can't handle!!!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I found out the subject that spoil my result! A simple subject that I didn't even expect it to be an A2 AT ALL!!! A subject that I did not get an A2 before in my entire life you can say...so I couldn't understand how on earth that subject can be an A2. Initially, I thought it was some other tougher subjects. So, my first word i said when I look at the result slip is, "wtffff...." Ahahaha..

Thanks to that, I can't be in one of the top. Although it is still beyond my lowest expectation, I am still disappointed cause it's all because of THIS subject, and I think I am not gonna reveal it, just gotta keep it to myself and those who already knew. If you really wanna know, ask me personally =P (I already expressed my anger in the other blog on this dumb dumb subject)

Even several teachers encouraged me to appeal for a remark, and so I did. Struggled the whole afternoon just to settle the applications to appeal.
Ended up missing the celebration bash at Times Square with the rest.


Initially, I was seriously pretty deppresed on that A2.. But then, family support is the source that made me feel contented with what I already have. Friends and cousins congratulated me for getting 11A. One of the call that really touched me was, 1st aunt called me and told me how my sick grandma reacted with joy after she heard about my results. Family looks proud... Everyone seemed to be proud, basically I am the only one unsatisfied..


Thank god..Today, I somehow finally feel it's okay with it.

I also knew some of my friends did well in SPM while some who don't. Some shed tears while some cheered aloud. One of my friend even cried in front of me and mentioning about committing suicide after getting her result (Don't worry, already got things in control =/ ) Some ashamed of themselves cause didn't put in effort earlier while some have no regrets with what they have.


Judgement Day is also a day for us to learn. To those who get excellent results, congratulations!! And to those who didn't reach their expectations, don't give up. Just cry out as much as you can and then be back yourself, in a much more tougher form!! A single failure in examination doesn't mean the end of the world. We must always remember, success is not how high you preach, it's actually how high you bounce back after a fall!!!


I learnt a lesson, be contented with what you have. After all, I already did my best, I have no regrets whatsoever. Still 11As, who cares =P


By the way, I haven't celebrate yet!!!! Maybe movies or anything!! Anyone?? Let me know in phone or msn if any yeah =)


The busy week starts now...so darn many scholarship applications to fill up before the closing and gotta prepare myself for interviews!! Headache..

Anyone who been through this please help here.. Thanks in advance =D




My secondary years in Victoria Institution ended with a Blast in SPM with 10A1, 1A2 =D Time to unfold the upcoming pages in my rocking life!!!!

I would like to express my gratitude to all who supported me in this 5 years period. Including my parents, teachers and also my Victorian brothers and always-there-for-me friends!!
My life would suck without all of you =P



wish me luck in the future peops!!

-Ys-

Judgement Day

12th March 2009

To everyone who sat for SPM 2008 last year, definitely you guys know what that date means right?? It's our 'Judgement Day' alright.. A day to decide whether you are going to Heaven or to Hell =P

The best part is, Judgement Day is arriving in less than 42 hours!!


Everyone has mixed emotions about the incoming Results Giving Day. Some find it a happy thing cause the long waited result is about to announced while some find it a misery, fearing the result will go below their expectations.

Excitement, fear, frustration, nervous, worry, traumatic...etc. Those are the common emotions people around me feel. To those smart dudes I know who has have high expectations for their results, they surely feel happy and eager to glance through their result slip without a slightest worry!

I can't help thinking how I did for my SPM last year, and how my results will turn out. I do aim for 11A1s of course, but what if I can't achieve it?? What if a B3 suddenly pop out in my result slip?! I wonder how will I react by then.. If I get 11A1s, how will I react? I really don't know.

Obviously I wouldn't commit suicide if I fail any of my subjects or cry over a B3, C or D (in case I get one) later. I cried once when I was in primary school when I got a B in chinese, sarcastically childish at the moment I think back xD I should have rejoiced for the 6A1B I get instead of crying on a Beee!!! For this SPM, my minimum target is still straight As, but at least 9A1s..


Seconds by seconds passing by and the clock continue ticking mercilessly... No words can describe how much deep inside me wishing that the clock can stop ticking and better still, turning the time backwards to the moment I just ended my final SPM paper. Sadly, removing the clock batteries and adjusting the time will not help =(


Perhaps I am just a little afraid to accept the fact that Judgement Day is just 2 days away. I constantly remind myself that I have been waited for this day for 3 whole months and it's time to end my Holiday Mood and accept judgement with a calm mind. Whatever the results will be, it's still not the end of the world, still a long way to go. Let Him decide our fate and future, so just pray for the best.

After this day maybe I will be in 'busy' mode rushing to apply all the last minute scholarships out there, so an excellent result is a must. Lots of applications to fill, and lots of enquiry to do. Darn, I really don't want the holiday to end like that!!! miss it so damn much!

Anyway, still glad that I can meet back old schoolmates whom I lost contact with for so long and visit the school and dear teachers I missed so much..can't wait for that day to come.


I promised myself that I won't be upset with whatever the results be, cause I know I already did my best. SO hopefully everyone also has positive thinking in their mind yea =)

May everyone Blessed with flying colours for their SPM result on the 12th and walk out from their respective school hall with a smile!!!






GOD, PLEASE BLESS ME WITH 11A1s~
Dear readers, do pray for me also yea ;)

-Ys-