A Libran I am, perhaps..for having such difficulties in making a decision which may hurt another individual. Little that I know that what I did is actually escaping from the reality and deepen the wound that already been made.
Although I have been making the wrong action for so long, I am relieved that I have expressed it in a single nite, a feeling of releasing a burden from my shoulder, and now is the time to move on. To where? God knows.. I follow my own path.
A new lesson to learn, to Let Go. Everyone needs freedom, no? Being selfish and hold other's freedom tightly in our grasp make us no difference with a murderer although it doesn't involve any bloodshed. No one wants their freedom to be taken away by another person. No teenagers want their freedom to be taken away from their very own parents.
Let go doesn't mean giving up, it's more to giving chances for us and others to be better.
One more thing that bothers me is that I am really sorry to not keeping in touch with old friends. Maybe some of you all know, I have been mixing with new group of people and being busy till kinda like didn't really keep in touch with you all.. I sure miss you guys but it's difficult to keep in touch with people we hardly meet these days. Apologises to all of you.
A lot of thoughts and messed up questions had been haunting me for quite awhile. 2 weeks ago, Win Nie told me something about the change in me today compare to the Tan Yu Shaun whom she once knew a time happy-go-lucky, easily to talk to, and open up guy. Instead, the current day me is increasingly introversive and cool..and can't even know what is this fella thinking in him, cuz he doesn't even want to share his problems and secrets with another.
Well, you sure guessed it right. I sure am keeping too many things to myself, even a tough guy you know may be bleeding inside ok. Some people might have noticed the new change in me, while some don't. All these problems really made me moody woozy but don't worry buddies, I will get over it, although I may be carrying the burden all alone, just don't wanna bother you guys with my craps, that's why I don't really share much secrets ( pls don't ever think that I don't trust you ) hope you all understand. As you guys all know, nothing much this big guy here can't handle =) I will be back to normal in no time, just spare me a few more days of sedimentations. Goodnights now..I really need more and more sleep. Hopefully the trip out of town tomorrow can help clear my mind for awhile =)
-Ys-
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